The next time you need to thwart enemies or escape evil henchmen on your way to work, consider a spin on the BOND (Built of Notorious Deterrents) Bike, “designed to combat the things that most annoy the urban cyclist: Handlebar-mounted flamethrower to stop motorists overtaking too close, ejection seat to deal with bike thieves and a caterpillar track to tackle potholes and snow.”
Perfect for James Bond wannabes, the multi-purpose two-wheeler was developed by a U.K.-based cycle insurer in response to a survey of 800 cyclists who were asked to identify their least favorite aspect of cycling.
Chief among their responses:
- cars and trucks passing too close (hence the flamethrower);
- potholes and other poor road conditions (which explains the all-terrain caterpillar track in place of a rear wheel);
- bike theft (no worries—an ejector seat can throw off any thief that gets passed a conventional lock); and,
- cold weather (a ski blade on the front wheel makes it easy to glide through the snow.)
Unfortunately, the BOND Bike isn’t actually for sale. “It shouldn’t be necessary for cyclists to resort to flame-throwers to get a little consideration on the roads,” said Andrew Davis, director of the insurance company who created the fantasy cycle.
The £1,200 invention, known as Bicicletas Nauticas, is the brainchild of Victor David, who is trying to pioneer the use of pedal-powered boats in Cambridge, England to compete with local punts—flat-bottomed boats with a square-cut bow.
“I’ve always enjoyed sports, but I hurt my back and couldn’t kayak anymore and my lungs started to hurt from pollution when I was riding my bike on the road,” environmentally conscious David said. “Then I came up with the idea of cycling in the water instead and the idea for the nautical bike grew.”
For all you landlubbers on the other side of the pond, perhaps all you need for fun in the sun is a bike pump-powered bottle opener on those days spent picnicking in California wine country:
Of course, if you’ve got a family in tow, it might be useful to get your hands on a Strollerbike, manufactured by Korean company Troikar. The multi-use cycle converts to a tricycle, child stroller and shopping cart. How convenient.